unschooling, homeschooling's lesser known sister

When I was 10 years old, my mother told me that she would be taking me out of school. I remember her telling me these words, and not quite hearing her. When at last these words sunk in, I went through several of the stages of grief. First there was denial. She had to be joking. I was going into fifth grade! I'd be one of the oldest in the school! Everyone would know me! And next year, I'd get a locker! I refused to believe she would take that from me! When at last I realized that she was not joking, I got angry. I started with a temper tantrum that would put any terrible two to shame, and finished that off with a nice round of silent treatment for my poor mother.

After about a week of this, she bribed me into listening to her with new office supplies (my one weakness) (okay, one of my weaknesses) and told me that I had a choice. This choice was to try homeschooling for 3 months, and then to make the decision to go to school or stay at home.

With my new notebooks in hand, I felt that this was a compromise I could live with. Three months of extended vacation, I figured, and then back to normal. In fact, my classmates would be so glad to see me after such a long separation, that it might even be worth it for their welcome back.

On our first official day of homeschooling, my mom took us to Sea World. I think you are smart enough to see through that particular move.

Our second official day of homeschooling, my mom bundled up myself, and my two sisters (three and six years younger than me) into the car with towels, buckets, shovels, and a cooler, and we headed to the beach. Since then I have realized that the elementary school is NOT, in fact, on the way to the beach, but my mom drove us by those blue gated walls just the same...emphasizing that we were out on a beachy adventure while everyone else was stuck inside.

The next three months continued a lot like that - we spent a lot of time at the beach, a lot of time running in the sand, giggling with my sisters, laying on a towel talking to my mom, digging, swimming, relaxing, playing, living. I can honestly say that I have no memory at all of that 3 month mark when I was supposed to make the decision to go back to school. After day one, I never thought about going back again.

People have asked my mom about her beach-moves, saying "wasn't that cheating? wasn't going to the beach just a tricky way to get her to have more fun with you than in school?" I've heard her explain it, so here's my version: no. Not cheating. I could go on a rant about all of the numerous things 10 year old me was learning during those months at the beach, but none of that was as important as my detoxing from school. Every kid who gets removed from public school needs a period of time where nothing is demanded from them. Whatever they need that time to be - 24 hours a day of video games, of staring out a window, of laying on their bed listening to music, of playing Rock Band, of being in the ocean - whatever it is, give them months. They are remembering how to get back into themselves. They are getting rid of the feel of being one of forty people in a small classroom. They are letting their brains get used to thinking about what they want, instead of being interrupted by a teacher's schedule. They are relaxing. And yes, they are learning.

When my mom first pulled us out of school, we were all young and less articulated about what it was we were doing. We told people we were doing "unit studies" - we found art projects that were ocean related, we wrote sea shanties, we did math word problems that had to do with the number of tuna ate by dolphins, you get the picture. We were trying to add some sort of legitimacy to the amazingly wonderful days we were spending at the beach. Because you know, if you're enjoying it that much, you must not be getting anything out of it. It didn't take us long to learn to trust ourselves enough that we didn't need the idea of a "unit study."

A unit study says that you need to find things to learn about which fit into one particular theme or category. What I have found unschooling to mean is that everything is connected, so you don't need to try to force it. The Ocean was our first and last unit study. The last time we documented any "school work," and our last concession to our old way of thinking.